=(

I went shopping today at Jurong Point with my collegue Joyce who is having her maternity leave now. Bought alot of stuff, including his bday present...spent a bomb on clothes, etc. also signed up for manicure & pedicure. I do this partly for him..i wanna look nicer for him...

After Joyce went back, met up w my Sec friend, Siewfang. I was at the Nail Palace, and she had to go Yoga afterwards, hence in the end we dint really spend much time together. Im so sorry for that.

I was preparing to go home, when he asked mi to accompany him for dinner. I went BPP to meet him. When we met, he told me something is troubling him at work. I was telling him how i feel, im really not good with words. I asked if he wanna eat anything, but he insisted that he has no appetite, ask mi go ahead to buy food. I came back asking him to eat abit of mine, but he does not wish to. He told me all abt his troubles, then he said that i do not understand him and do not know know how to cheer him up...i noe im not good with words, he said that i can learn...though i said that need time to understand each other, he said that time is not the issue, its whether i wanna ask him questions to know more about him anot. Everything i say seems to be wrong. He also talked about marriage that relationship is not about time etc...My views are different. I would say "wat if" marry le, then find out not suitable? He will say i always "wat if"..then wat if cross the road got car accident, then dun cross road?..He does not wanna live and regret...

I am very sad that he scolded me, I am even sadder that he say that i do not understand him. I am very sorry about that...i will learn and try my best. But i just feel that everyone has different views, i think we need to compromise...by making me think and do what he feels, it makes me think that he just wanna mold me into someone he wants and not liking me for what i am... It also saddens me when he mentioned his ex gf.

If you are reading this, I am just writing how i feel, hope you will understand me too... We gotta learn and compromise, i just hope you can also respect my views too, you always say that i do not have my own thinking. When i have my own thinking, you will make me feel that i am wrong and want me to think the same as you... I admit that there are things i really need to learn..as you know im just like a toddler still learning to walk. I will try my best to understand you, but i hope you can understand me too...

I am sorry i cant cheer you up today..but i am also very sadz as well. =(